It's been 6 years

The same sun that melts wax hardens clay. "Lord, let me not be hardened but softened." Six years ago, I prayed that prayer over and over again and God was faithful. And today, April 15, we celebrated Grace Elizabeth. Usually we go to the graveside and release balloons, but this year it had to be different since we were in Indiana. I knew this aspect would be a challenge for me, but I am so grateful that there is life beyond the grave. Over these past years I have had so many questions regarding prayer. However I heard a sermon recently that meant so much to me. I have struggled with God's answers to three of my prayers:
1. First I prayed, "God bring the baby safely into this world." 2. After delivery, when I was still awake and knew my world was crashing in on me, I prayed, "Help her God, keep her safe." 3. Then later in my room, my Dad was holding Grace Elizabeth and I prayed, "Lord, raise her from the dead. You did it in the New Testament, I know you can do it now." I took those No's from God as stones (Matthew 7:9..."Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?). However, this year I have realized that His no was bread because I was in His will. I am realizing that I trust in God so much that I am willing and want to be in His will even when it means that His answer is no to something I want so desperately. It is my prayer that I learn to trust in who God is and not what He does. Questions come and go but even when Job questioned God, God did not give Job an answer other than the fact that God is God.
So, yes, it has been six years and not one day has gone by that I have not thought about and miss Grace Elizabeth (and I hope that day will never come). I am thankful for her- what a gift. Now she is in heaven in the presence of God our Father-Amazing! Heaven has become more real to me since a piece of me is already there. Dr. Dobson said, "As a parent you ask God for wisdom on how to introduce your child to Jesus, but when a child goes to heaven before you, it's your child that will introduce you to Jesus."

Here are some photos of the 6 balloons we released at Taylor lake.

I still believe in your holiness, I still believe in your faithfulness, I still believe in your truth, even when I don't see, I still believe.


Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine


The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.




6 balloons, 6 years