The same sun that melts wax hardens clay. "Lord, let me not be hardened but softened." Six years ago, I prayed that prayer over and over again and God was faithful. And today, April 15, we celebrated Grace Elizabeth. Usually we go to the graveside and release balloons, but this year it had to be different since we were in Indiana. I knew this aspect would be a challenge for me, but I am so grateful that there is life beyond the grave. Over these past years I have had so many questions regarding prayer. However I heard a sermon recently that meant so much to me. I have struggled with God's answers to three of my prayers:
1. First I prayed, "God bring the baby safely into this world." 2. After delivery, when I was still awake and knew my world was crashing in on me, I prayed, "Help her God, keep her safe." 3. Then later in my room, my Dad was holding Grace Elizabeth and I prayed, "Lord, raise her from the dead. You did it in the New Testament, I know you can do it now." I took those No's from God as stones (Matthew 7:9..."Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?). However, this year I have realized that His no was bread because I was in His will. I am realizing that I trust in God so much that I am willing and want to be in His will even when it means that His answer is no to something I want so desperately. It is my prayer that I learn to trust in who God is and not what He does. Questions come and go but even when Job questioned God, God did not give Job an answer other than the fact that God is God.
So, yes, it has been six years and not one day has gone by that I have not thought about and miss Grace Elizabeth (and I hope that day will never come). I am thankful for her- what a gift. Now she is in heaven in the presence of God our Father-Amazing! Heaven has become more real to me since a piece of me is already there. Dr. Dobson said, "As a parent you ask God for wisdom on how to introduce your child to Jesus, but when a child goes to heaven before you, it's your child that will introduce you to Jesus."
Here are some photos of the 6 balloons we released at Taylor lake.
I still believe in your holiness, I still believe in your faithfulness, I still believe in your truth, even when I don't see, I still believe.
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.
6 balloons, 6 years
9 comments:
Simply beautiful... Your words, you life, your witness, your sweet Grace Elizabeth. Praying for you dear friend!
You have been on my heart since the moment I woke up today. This is the most beautiful post and such a testimony to your faith. What a way to remember Grace Elizabeth each year and for the kids to know she's in heaven waiting for your family to join someday. You amaze me Deborah, your friendship has meant so much in such a short time. Know that you were loved and prayed for today as you celebrate Grace Elizabeth's life.
how incredibly beautiful. tears are streaming! what a gift for your children and for you and Bronson to celebrate Grace Elizabeth each year on her birthday...and to remember that she's waiting up in heaven for you to arrive and see her. i can't wait to meet her, either. love you friend!
okay, i've read this post 3 times now=) it's so beautiful--so sweet--so perfect!
what a precious testimony of the Lord's faithfulness and unfailing love! love you!
What a beautiful way to remember Grace Elizabeth and to help your children understand and comprehend their sister up in heaven. I thought about you after small group last night. Thanks for sharing your heart through your blog and for your amazing testimony of trusting God when it hurts. You are a gift to have as a friend and I can only imagine your family reunion when you get to heaven. What a celebration it will be!
Wow, you made me cry again... I love your sweet heart! Thank you for sharing your journey and for being such an encouragement as you do so! Love you, my friend! - Corrie
oh deb, that was such a testimony! i sit here in sweet tears - thankful along with you for where our daughters are. that quote from dobson made me cry, i have never heard that before. but it is so fitting. and that song, i heard this morning- for some strange reason dan's alarm went off with that song playing (it has never done this at 7am before because he gets up at 5) anyway, i laid there and thought of selah. thanks for sharing such sweet words.
Wow! So powerful! Such wisdom! Thank you for sharing your heart!
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